Today was a hard day. Maisey lost a beloved pet hamster, Hermione, in the night and it was a long, cold day without our sweet friend. (Who can imagine the impact of one little life on another? Love is truly blind and irrational and we are all better for it.) I admit, particularly when it comes to my family, my first instinct is to avoid pain at all costs. To shut it out, medicate, do whatever I have to do to stop the hurt. But I'm learning there's beauty in pain and growth in loss. Letting those emotions have their way wakes us up to who we really are, makes us willing to reach out to others in their pain, and opens the heart to the reality of something bigger than ourselves out there. (Why is it that it takes being broken to open the heart up to God?)
So, instead of going to the idols of self-preservation in my pain, frustration and confusion, I'm heading to my journal, to color, to creativity, and seeking healing there instead. Not that art in itself is anything, but a vehicle to understanding, an opportunity to discover beauty out of ashes and--most of all--hope for a new day. And I for one couldn't be more thankful for it.