We are fickle and we are fragile. I am especially talking about myself. This weekend I've been like a crazy woman. I hardly recognize myself, although crazy is nothing new around here. The stress of keeping the house spotless in case of a prospective buyer, waiting and worrying when and if is so much harder than I imagined. As I cleaned the house yesterday for a second viewing, I found myself so afraid I didn't even know what to hope for. On one hand I was terrified that the woman viewing the house would decide she didn't want it, but at the same time I was terrified that she would. There are so many details to foresee and prepare for and my little brain seems too small to even consider them all. I can't tell you what comfort I find in remembering that God knows so much better than I do what is best and what will make me happiest. Even what I think I want changes from minute to minute. I'm a total basket case.
Pouring it all out into my journal has been such a relief for me. Reshaping and making something beautiful out of the chaos in my head just seems to set everything in the world right side up again. And when I can work a little on an older page from a time when everything seemed to make more sense, I can forget about the craziness for a little while.
I am loving your journal pages...so bright, so bold, so inviting. And I thank you for sharing them...they've awakened something in me this early morning.
We can worry about worry at times and change makes us worry even more, often in ways we didn't even know we could. Some of that fear is really excitement of what lies ahead...sending you blessings that you can relax through the process of selling your house and looking to the adventure of your new one.
Posted by: Sherry | October 27, 2009 at 05:08 AM
You make the most wonderful art when you're crazy and confused :). I hate that you're going through such a mix of worry and hope and fear, but you are on the right track with your faith and your journal. God really does make something good come of the the most frustrating of events. But hanging onto that tighter than onto the fear is so hard sometimes. Especially, I think, when I want something very, very badly. It always help me to remember that in 2 years (or whatever), I'll look back and be able to see the blessings more than the fear. I hope it's a lot sooner for you!
Posted by: Christie (SweetbriarStudio) | October 27, 2009 at 07:14 AM
Lovely journal pages....good luck with the house selling when you are ready to part with it.
Posted by: Lynn | October 27, 2009 at 03:44 PM
I haven't stopped and said Hi in a long time. I come and spy your pages but haven't stopped. :)
Praying for God's Plans to be amazing for you and your family!! You bring sunshine to my corner with your beautiful art!
Posted by: Theresa | October 30, 2009 at 09:28 AM
These are such gorgeous pages!! I have spent the last two nights browsing through your entire blog. haha. I have had to force myself to go to bed. I LOVE IT!!!
Posted by: dawn | November 06, 2009 at 09:42 PM